TRC

The New Normal

When I was caring for mom and as the stress increased, I kept hoping for the situation to get easier, less stressful and less hectic. It never did.  What I experienced was a slowly escalating situation where mom's care required more of my attention and time.  Before my journey began, I had a full time job and a small business on the side.  As a result, I had very little time for anything else.  The more attention mom required, the more I started leaving other tasks behind.  I slowly downscaled my business until there was nothing left.  As for work, I took a great deal of time off or adjusted my schedule so that i could make up the time during evening and weekends that I was devoting to mom during the day.

My point is that as mom's needs increased, I keep arriving at a "New Normal".  I had to accept that this was my life now and there was no way of knowing how long my new normal would last.  So I had to accept my new normal and adjust my life accordingly.  We all have goals, dreams and aspirations.  Each adjustment in my life was a difficult decision to make since I was leaving behind all of my dreams and aspirations; especially with the business.

But, mom came first.  There was no one else to take over the caregiving responsiblity.  And so, I adjusted.

 

The caregiving journey is filled with moments that require sacrifice, and one of the most difficult decisions you'll face is choosing to give up something you deeply want in order to prioritize the well-being of your loved one. This could be a hobby, a career opportunity, or even personal time. Recognizing early on that these moments will arise is crucial for your mental and emotional well-being.

When you're aware that sacrifices may be necessary, you can start mentally preparing for them, which can reduce the shock and stress when the time comes. This preparedness allows you to make decisions more calmly and rationally. By anticipating changes, you may also have the opportunity to put plans in place—whether it’s arranging for additional help, setting boundaries, or finding ways to maintain some aspects of your personal life. Knowing that change is inevitable can help you approach your caregiving role with more flexibility and less resentment, as you understand that these adjustments are part of the journey.