Respite

Finding Caregiving Relief

When I moved mom out of her condo, she stayed with my brother-in-law for a short time and later with my brother before she finally ended up in an Assisted Living Facility.  What I did not know at the time was that she had started to experience an incontinence issue.  It was not noticeable when she was living alone in her condo likely because she was in her own space and not under a great deal of stress.

But, when she was moved out of her condo, this change may have been very stressful for her as her incontinence issue because worse.  She suddenly experienced a need to urinate every 30 minutes or so... around the clock.  This created a huge issue at first for my brother-in-law because, since mom was 90% blind and not familiar with his house, he was up all day and night guiding her to the bathroom.  He lived 45 minutes away from me and I could not quickly travel to his home after work to assist.  So, I had to find help quickly.

When you are under stress and have no experience with caregiving or finding help, locating assistance can be very difficult and only adds to your stress.  After many hours and days of searching and calling agencies, I was able to find organizations in Florida that were able to assist me by giving me and my brother a break when we needed it the most. 

It's important to know and remember that although these agencies can provide caregivers to you for a fee, you must always be ready with a plan in the event the caregiver scheduled to arrive does not show up or calls off sick at the last minute.  I experienced this issue several times and, in many cases, there was no backup caregiver available through the agency.  I ended up having to fill the shift myself, usually during overnight hours, and then go to work the next morning.

It's important to understand that I worked with organizations who provided an account manager or representative with a 24-hour contact number.  If someone called in sick, the organization would have a replacement caregiver most of the time.  I once tried website that had caregivers who shared their experience and what their hourly rate was.  I submitted a request to two or three of these, but I never had success in someone responding to my requests.  So, I found these types of services unreliable and disappointing.

Even if you have a confirmed caregiving scheduled, always have a backup plan.